gravatus spes

20081021

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Now you're gone

I wonder why you left me here

I think about it on and on and on and on and on again

I know you're never coming back

I hope that you can hear me

I'm waiting to hear from you

Until I do

You're gone away

I'm left alone

A part of me is gone

And I'm not moving on

So wait for me

I know the day will come

I'll meet you there

No matter where life takes me to

I'll meet you there

And even if I need you here

I'll meet you there

I wish I could have told you

The things I kept inside

But now I guess it's just too late

So many things remind me of you

I hope that you can hear me

I miss you

This is goodbye

One last time

You're gone away

Im left alone.

A part of me is gone

And im not moving on

So wait for me

I know the day will come

I'll meet you there

No matter where life takes me to

I'll meet you there

And even if I need you here

I'll meet you there

No matter where life takes me to

I'll meet you there

And even if I need you here

I'll meet you there

I'll meet you there

And where I go you'll be there with me

Forever you'll be right here with me

I'll meet you there

No matter where life takes me to

I'll meet you there

And even if I need you here

I'll meet you there

No matter where life takes me

I'll meet you there

And even if i need you

I meet you there

I will meet you there

No, apparently not! it cries out in tears

20081018

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Where time stands still

Or moves at your will

Will you let the morning come soon

Or will you leave me lying here

In your favourite darkness

Your favourite half-light

Your favourite consciousness

Your favourite slave

Where souls disappear

Only you exist here

Will you lead me to your armchair

Or leave me lying here

Your favourite innocence

Your favourite prize

Your favourite smile

Your favourite slave

I'm hanging on your words

living on your breath

feeling with your skin

Will I always be there

Your burning eyes

Cause flames to arise

Will you let the fire die down soon

Or will I always be here

Your favourite passion

Your favourite game

Your favourite mirror

Your favourite slave

I'm hanging on your words

living on your breath

feeling with your skin

Will I always be there

Ter

20080922

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Spring was never waiting for us till

it ran one step ahead

as we followed in the dance.

Between the parted pages

we were pressed,

in love's hot, fevered iron

like a striped pair of pages.

The Park is melting in the dark

Oh, nooo!

I recall your cotton dress

foaming like a wave

on the ground beneath your knees

birds like tender babies in your hands

and the old men playing

Chinese checkers

by the trees

There'll be another song for me

and I will sing it

there'll be another dream for me

someone will bring it

I will drink the wine while it is warn

and never let you catch me

looking at the sun, oh

and after all the loves of my life

after all loves in my life

you'll be the one

I will take my life into my hands

and I will bruise it

I will win the worship in their eyes

and I will lose it

I will have the things that I desire

and my passion flow

like rivers through the sky

oh and after all the loves in my life

after all the loves in my life

you'll still be the one

and I'll ask myself why.

Fed up with my destiny

And this place of no return

Think I'll take another day

And slowly watch it burn

It doesn't really matter how the time goes by

'Cause I still remember you and

And that which should have been a beautiful goodbye

We staggered through those empty streets

Laughing arm in arm

The night had made a mess of me

Your confession kept me warm

And I do really miss you, I just need to know

Do you ever think of you and I

And that beautiful goodbye

When I see you now

I wonder how

I could've watched you walk away

If I let you down

Please forgive me now

For that which should have been a beautiful goodbye

In these days of regrets

I'll keep mine to myself

And all the things we never said

I can say for myself

'Cause I don't lasts forever, but we always try

And I just can't help but wonder why

We let it pass us by

When I see you now

I wonder how

I could've watched you walk away

If I let you down

Please forgive me now

For that missing beautiful goodbye

I do believe I failed you

I know I'vd let you down

don't you know I tried so hard

to love you in my way

it's easy let it go...

I'm empty since you left me

trying to find a way to carry on

I search myself and everyone

to see where we went wrong

there's no one left

there's one here to blame

there's no one left to talk to, honey

and there ain't no one to buy our innocence

'cause we are born innocent

believe me, we are still innocent

it's easy, we all falter

but does it matter?

I thought that we could make it

I know I can't change the way you feel

I leave you, I stay with my misery

a friend who won't betray

pull you from your tower

take away your pain

show you all the beauty you possess

if you'd only let yourself believe that

we are born innocent

believe me, you are still innocent

it's easy, we all falter,

but does it matter?

-

20080823

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

Took your soul out into the night.

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,

You can't break my spirit

it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

And I love you, I swear that's true.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby,

I'm so hollow.

I'm so

hollow

-

20080823

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first, I loved you first

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

I have to go, I have to go

Your hair was long when we first met

I ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed

And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us

And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first, I loved you first

Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads

But they're just old light, they're just old light

Your hair was long when we first met

You came to my bed

Told me that my hair was red

Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed

Oh I cut your hair myself one night

A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light

And you told me that I'd done alright

And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light

And you kissed me 'til the mornin' light

You went back to bed

Not much hair left on your head

Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed

Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down

Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one

And history books forgot about us

And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first

-

20080823

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

On the day that you stopped existing

The world should have ended right then and there

At precisely four-fifteen when you stopped existing

The world should have ended

How could it go on?

How could it go on?

Oh and I don't exist

I don't exist

I don't exist

I don't exist

So now that we've got that straight

Doesn't mean that I can fly

Doesn't mean I that I can go do whatever I want.

Now that we've got that clear

And you know that I'm not here

Doesn't mean that I can go do whatever I please.

The premature ejaculation of my death

sentence hit you in the face like a fist.

And everything got hazy in the courtroom and then I stood up

And then sat back down another two times in the row.

And everything got real slow like a full moon

I don't exist

I don't exist

And now that we've got that straight,

Doesn't mean that I can fly

Doesn't mean that I can go do whatever I want.

Now that we've got that clear

And you know that I'm not here

Doesn't mean that I can go do whatever I please.

And you start remembering and remembering and remembering

And remembering...

I can't drown.

Simply because...

Om saker ej vore som blivit, skulle texten lyda

20080504

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

When our two souls stand up erect and strong,

Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher,

Until the lengthening wings break into fire

At either curved point, what bitter wrong

Can the earth do to us, that we should not long

Be here contented? Think, In mounting higher,

The angels would press on us and aspire

To drop some golden orb of perfect song

Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay

Rather on earth, Beloved, where the unfit

Contrarious moods of men recoil away

And isolate pure spirits, and permit

A place to stand and love in for a day,

With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.

Viljestyrka

20080123

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Något som kan få en att klara av det som verkar omöjligt.

Det som avgör en löpning.

Det som skiljer mellan liv och död.

Det som avgör prestationen och reglerar prestationen.

Då viljestyrkan inte finns blir inget utfört och man faller mot apati.

Då det inte finns något som skiljer mellan liv och död,

ser jag inte någon anledning att leva om man lika väl kan vara död

då skiljetecknet är borta.

Då vilja är det som signifikerar liv hur kan då liv existera utan vilja?

Då livet tydligen fortfarande existerar

finns där tydligen en del av en vilja kvar.

Men vad är en del av ett liv?

en skadad vilja utgör inte ett komplett liv,

inte ett liv som kan återigen kännas.

Inget är komplett

inget krävs att vara komplett

inget kan vara komplett

då det fysiskt når sin kompletta nivå,

slocknar glöden

men ett ting så splittrat

och ofullständigt

var avsaknar allt av samhörighet

finner man inte en glöd hos

Den glöden har sedan länge slocknat

eller fattat fyr i ett trästycke ack så torrt,

då det inte sett vattnets klara glans sedan minnenas tider

då antingen köldens hårda kyla

eller infernots rökiga hetta

regerar

så tas besluten i en dimma

som får den mest sjöfarne att gå på grund

Vem är jag att ha trotset att uttala ordet jag,

då jag inte längre känner dess betydelse.

Vem är jag att tro att jag får existera?

Vem är jag att tro jag får fälla tårar?

Vem är jag att tro att jag får känna kyla?

Vem är jag att tro att jag får känna avsaknad av värme?

Vem är jag att räds för att misslyckas då jag inte är tillåten att försöka?

for you

20080122

På promenad genom de gångna känslors trädgårdar.

Walk with me

Open your sensitive mouth

And talk to me

Hold out your delicate hands

And feel me

Couldn't make any plans

To conceal me

Open your sensitive mouth

Hold out your delicate hands

With such a sensitive mouth

I'm easy to see through

When I come up

When I rush

I rush for you

Cry for you

Seen the tears

Roll down from my eyes for you

Heard my truth

Distorting to lies for you

Watched my love

Becoming a prize for you

Seen the tears in my eyes

Heard my truth turn to lies

Seen the tears in my eyes

I'm not proud of what I do

When I come up

When I rush

I rush for you

I come up to meet you

Up there somewhere

When I rush to greet you

My soul is bared

Gave more for you

Dropped my crutches

And crawled on the floor for you

Went looking behind every door for you

And because of the things

That I saw for you

I spiritually grew

When I come up

When I rush

I rush for you